Below is a selection of some of just a few of the letters I have received in Memory of My Father
Some are printed anonymously and I have removed any identifying information as requested by the senders, and others tell a little about the person who sent the letter with his permission.
The following is from my son, and I am leaving it in his originally spelled English e-mail which he sent to his savta (grandmother)…the day after the funeral he left with his girlfriend for the States and this was sent from there. Of all my 6 children, I think he spent the most time with my parents, as he lived just a few houses away for many years as a small boy in Gush Katif, and after my divorce, lived with my parents in their house in Netanya, with me for 1 ½ years, and after that, my parents lived with ME for 5 years as well in Pardes Chana….you can see he felt the impact of this and surprised us all with this lovely tribute to my father…I don’t think any grandfather can hope to remembered any more beautifully than this.
hey savata how are you we hope everything is starting to get back to normal although it is hard to keep on going ,but that is the only way , and you have the best people around you to help you ,we're just sorry we could not be apart of them right now .
but know that we are there in our minds and thoughts,
you know i didn't realy have a chance to speake with you about saba
so here are few thing's that about how i remember,
i remember him working in the garden in gush katif with out his shirt on and how strong he was,
i remember him teaching me how to play chess ,but never leting me win ,
i remember him taking ages until he use to play his turn while plaing cards
i remember him taking me in natanya trien to show me all th shortcuts around the streets
i remember him teaching me how to do stuff around the house in pardes hana
i remember him always shining up each time i offerd to go get him some ice cream while he was in the hospital
i remeber a man who knew so much and was alwayes happy to shear it
i remember a man who escorted me my whole life and in some way was more a father than a grandfather
thats how i remember
love you very much
shai&dani
The next two are from a Cousin that we have not been in contact with for decades!:
I want to express my deepest sympathy for your loss of a wonderful husband and friend. He was a remarkably good man. Kind, considerate and gentle. His spirit, his smile, and his goodness will remain alive in the hearts and minds of all who knew him and loved him.
Dear Jane:
I was very much saddened to learn of the passing of your father. He was a good man, and always kind and patient with me … The last time I saw him was many years ago just before he moved to Israel. As I recall, he had cardio-vascular issues at that time, and he became a vegetarian which, it would seem, extended his life. (My sister) keeps me informed of family events so I did know that he was having difficulties the last couple of years. I suppose what I am saying is that you and your family were blessed, and very fortunate, to have him with you all these years. I guess because I had not seen him all these years I only have fond memories of a very youthful, fun loving, and playful uncle who, as I perceived him, liked to tease people in a most benign and loving way.
Please extend my most sincere condolences to my aunt Judy and your brothers. I hope they are all in good health and you as well.
Much love to you and your family,
P.S. I never beat him at checkers either.
And a another from a cousin:
I'll always remember him as a very caring, sweet man and always there to heal ones heart that pains. No matter how bad he was feeling, he was always there smiling and cheering others. We will miss him very much.
All our love to the entire family.
Love, Faith and Lenny
And yet another:
Your love for your father was so eloquently written and moving, that my eyes watered.
Perhaps it's the distance and our remoteness from experiencing his last weeks and days that make it hard for Elyn and myself to fully feel his passing. But I would like to think it's much more than that. I do think his warmth and his ever-present smile were not taken from us by his death.
He was a kind and gracious man. Not once did I hear him say a negative word about anyone in seriousness or in jest. I believe anyone who knew Davie was all the better for it. I am grateful to have had the opportunity to see him this year and was amazed by how graceful he could handle his illness. Yes, as a matter of fact, he did handle his illness. His illness did not handle him. That speaks to the kind of man he was. He acquired a quiet wisdom that enabled him to face life's difficulties and his own suffering. He did it all with grace. And his smile.
In his passing, I am reminded of Abe and their life-long close friendship.
I have come to appreciate that one can learn life's lessons from others. There is much to learn and be inspired by how one lives his life as well as how one dies. In your father's life and his death there is that inspiration.
We hope that you and your mother and the entire family will be comforted by the serene warm love that death failed to take from our Davie.
With our love,
Avriel, Elyn, Ari, Elana
The following from the son of a first cousin...meaning my father was his grand-uncle.
Dear Aunt Judy,
I want to first apologize for the delay in sending this email out. It’s gotten very difficult for me during times of sorrow to express feelings and for that I apologize for this delay. Uncle Dave has always been one of my favorites and I miss him already. I was so sorry to hear about his passing. I have such wonderful memories of him from my visits. One that stands out for me was upon my first visit to Israel as a teenager. You were living in Netanya at the time and I came to visit for the weekend. Uncle Dave and I went to shul and I remember watching him pray. He wasn’t just saying the words or going through the motions, he was praying with such intention, kavana, with a genuineness that I had never seen before. That vision of him davening is imbedded in my mind to this day. It summed up for me how a person’s life should be lived: with genuineness.
May your memories of him provide comfort to you and your family during this very difficult time.
With Love,
Eli
The following is also from a cousin who has been pretty much “out of touch” for many many years.
Jane,
My sister Barbara and my nephew Marty both sent me your beautiful piece about your dear father-who was always my favorite Uncle. The picture you attached really caught the essence of a man who always seemed to find the best in life.
My sympathies, of course, and thank you for sharing.
Gene
The two following letters are from a second cousin I don’t think I ever even met, or perhaps saw him as a very small child before I came to live in Israel!
Jane, I'm Barbara and Mel Feinberg's son and my father just sent me your beautiful blog entry. While I didn't get a chance to see your mom and dad that often, they were always my favorite great aunt and uncle. As you will see from the email below ( I'm not sure that your mom ever received it), I loved your father and have very fond memories from the times I saw him. He will always be in my mind and heart.
Marty
Great Aunt Judy,
I know that its been some time since we've spoken (lets see - I'm 43 and I was Bar Mitzvahed at 13, so 30 years?), but I have always had such fond memories of both Uncle and yourself. While my Grandfather Elias always got a thrill out of giving me a hard time (i.e., Hey Gramps I got a "B" in my English class, he would respond - Why not an "A"?), I always remember Uncle Davey as being the kinder and gentler Scheiman. I know that many would find it hard to believe that such a thing existed ( ha ha), but its true. No matter where I saw Davey (even though our appearances at the Family Circle were in frequent) he always had kind words and a smile for me.
It feels like yesterday that we all (well I remember that Grandma and probably my mom didn't go. I believe that you went, right?) walked down to the schul on Ocean Avenue, for what was termed my bar mitvah. At the time, I didn't really know what to expect but had my suit on and was raring to go (well, I had my suit on). I vividly recall Uncle Davey trying to keep me at ease as we walked. I believe that both of you were on each side of me, running a bit of interference as Grandpa forged ahead. At that time, I wished that the walk would never end. In contrast to the endless walks that I took around Brooklyn with Grandma and Grandpa which I would always wished ended quickly.
As we entered the orthodox schul, I thought to myself - "self, what did you get yourself into? If you had just stayed at the reform schul like my parents wanted -oy!" Here the men were segregated from the women, the men had long beards and before you knew it, I was ushered into the basement. There, my arms and head were wrapped in leather! What did I know about tefillin, I was from a reform schul. The next moments of the ceremony was filled with sheer terror. I had no idea what I was being asked to read (even though I did study for weeks), but as I looked around, standing close to me was Grandpa, Davey and my father for support. Lo and behold, I made it through and became a man. Besides, there was great snacks afterward, which I believe we provided.
Taking a long deep breathe as I left the schul, we made our way back to Grandma's house and ate with everyone. Well that was my bar mitzvah day as I remember it. I'm a bit disappointed that I don't remember more, but hey, I'm moving up in those years.
Uncle Davey will surely be missed. Not only by those of us who loved him deeply, but to the world in which always he brought a kind word and a smile. I will saying a blessing for him today and hope that sometime SOON I will get to see you again.
Love always. Marty
This from a member of the community we lived in for many years…
Dear Jane,
I am sorry I shall not be available to attend the funeral of your dear father. Of course I knew him - he used to come to my shiurim when I lived in Pardess Hannah and I used to deliver the Five Towns Newsletter to the door. Such a nice gentle and intelligent man - it was a pleasure to have known him. I wish you and all the family G-d's solace and may he always be remembered for good.
Kind regards and best wishes, Asher Harris
The following is from a computer technician who spent all together about 4 hours in the presence of my father….amazing that he wrote such beautiful things after knowing him for such a brief period of time, but only goes more to show what an amazing personality my father was, in his own very quiet and humble way.
jane, my sincerest and deepest condolences to you on the loss of your beloved father. i will remember him as the bright, inquisitive, and effervescent man he was when i met him. please let me know if there is anything i can do.
my thoughts are with you,
beau
